Stress attack - part 1

stresssssssss....my head is spinning...guess im stuck with this for the rest of my next 3 years..what did i get myself into?

Supervisor is coming to town

"hai..im coming down to kuching tomorrow"......what?????? Owh nooooo...she is coming without notifying me in advance..wraghhhhhhh

Lucky me, i have done like 80% of my proposal (at least i have a physical evidence to show her though im doubtful of the quality of my produce) but still it gives me a shock of my life that i jumped out of my bed and drove to see my 2nd supervisor (Dr. Fir..my nickname for him) for a 911 call...

There are areas that needed to be amended..but i was so overwhelm that i cant do any

Finally met my supervisor last night...lets call her Prof.Z..ya met her..then..?? Prof. Z said 'do the amendment first'..hmm..is that it? after all the nervousness and silly billyness??? well..never mind..she gave me a  number of useful tips & words of encouragement

Huhuhu...tons of work waiting for me...owh ME..please be strong...owh my head..dont give me migraine...i need to use you

Dilema si pemakai hijab dan baju pengantin

I know this topic will create a stir.. (owhhh..what an introduction..)

Ya, it will create a stir because im touching on an issue that is very sensitive..private (maybe) and its related to religion..but i have this "mual" in my stomach and i need to vomit it out..ok, im not qualified to be 'calon-calon wanita muslimah'..first, im not wearing the hijab as what other muslim women do..i have my own reason why..i dont have to mention it here as that will not just creating a stir but a tsunami..i just name 1 reason, rather a principle to me ~ I believe in doing thing with ikhlas & tulus..not to fit in or 'to show'..and i believe in 'hati yang bersih'..everything comes from the heart not from how we look

I was called tO write on this topic after i saw a wedding pictures of someone that i know. she just got married and happy..lalalalala..

Her everday look is with hijab..covering herself top to toe..muslimah ~ calon-calon nya ialah...jeng jeng jeng..yes..she can be the calon..the family is also known as the 'mereka yang alim alim belaka'..what become an issue here is she posted her pre-weddng pictures in Facebook & her blog..well, everyone does that..its a happy day right..BUT..her pre-wedding
pictures were taken during a holiday of her & her fiance (belum kawin yer..)..shocked &
surprised..in one of her album, she is wearing a tiub dress that exposing the upper part of her body..no hijab (of course lah..) and gambar touching touching with her not-yet-husband

My question is, is she allowed to do that because it is her wedding day? Is she allowed to touch a man (touch is a more gentle word to describe the act of hugging, cuddlng dan yang sewaktu dengan nya) who is her husband to be? Is it ok for a woman who wear hijab to take it off..wear revealing dress because she is getting married? I mean, for orang yang tidak alim
like me, i still have that subconcious mind to think taht such acts are not right..well..perhaps i still can consider that as ok if they keep it as 'for our eyes only'..but not for the whole universe to observe

I may be a penyibuk..what do i know..why do i care..me myself is not wearing hijab..im not perfect myself..jangan jaga tepi kain orang..well, kalau kain disimpan elok, saya tak jaga..kalau kasi saya tengok..saya akan tengok, evaluate & analyse..i would rather be myself..look like who i am now..tapi tidak sekali kali memperlekehkan diri sendiri & agama hanya atas sebab sebuah album perkahwinan..

As for me, when the time comes for me to wear hijab..i want to be ready..mentally, spiritually & physically..with ketetapan iman serta diperlihara tingkah laku agar tidak menjadi momokan orang..

Forgive me for being vocal..but..i can only describe it in one sentence ~ "what a shame"

Proposal proposal proposal...

Yup..proposal...in UiTM system, we are given 1 semester just to prepare our proposal..then we need to defense our proposal in the main campus Shah Alam..my defense is scheduled to be in February...hukhukhuk....cry looooo..die die

I have done mine about 90%...great??? Hmm...dont praise me yet..im still in doublt..it cannot be this easy. Some of our fellow phd student took 2-3 semesters to complete their proposal. After 2 - 3 times defending, only then the proposal is accepted..it cannot be this easy for me..it is impossible that i can do it as easy as this while my friends are tergoleng-goleng fell off their chair doing theirs..

Will be meeting my 2nd supervisor a day after tomorrow and have a discussion on my proposal..he didnt give me any feedback since he received it last week...wuhuhuhu...m freaking out here..he is my second supervisor..once he confirmed that my work is acceptable..then i will send it to my main supervisor who is known with her strictness..heartless..'pengempang'..'aku peduli apa' probably her tagline..but quality is her highest priority..that is the reason why my husband send me to her..for her to squeeze & renyuk..hehe..no lah..so that i can get a quality phd

I pray that my proposal is ok..at least my idea can be accepted..other amendments can be done as long as its not a complete rubbish..

Proposal on the way

At this point of time, i have completed my 8 Research Methodology modules..Will get the certificate of attendence, without one i cant proceed with my Phd..it was such a challenging time. Not because of the modules..it was me, just me.. I dont think i can survive long hours in classes anymore. I Feel miserable & distracted.

I was worried that i still cant find the niche area that i will do in my research..thank god, i was like 'mendapat hidayah' when i attended Sambutan Hari Wanita at Dewan Undangan Negeri Sarawak..i listened to our Chief Minister's speech..was so into it and suddently..banggggg...the idea just pop up

Today, just 4 days after i got the hidayah, im sitting in front of my supervisor..i have a grip of my topic..my spervisor showed me the way..yeah..m excited and i can yell "i can see the light"

Opulent Handmade Statement Necklaces

 Wow..it been a while since my last visit..ya..i've been busy..busy..busy...sighhhhh

One of the reasons why I've been busy is this..my hobby in jewelry making..i love making my own jewelry..I have made a few pieces for myself and I cant stand it when people keep on asking, "u made it yourself? ada jual sik? polah dengan kamek juak.."...ok ok...here I make some for my jewelry enthusiasts..

I have become a bit of a monster when comes to accessorizing. I always love a standout jewelry that is versatile, lavish, sparkle and make me look different-noticed fashionista. Ya..i turned so many heads...some look at me like they never seen this creature before..and i also get comments..for instance, there was this one 'Datuk' that teased me during one function "owh..your necklace is so sparkles..so bright, brighter than the camera's flash..nanti semua gambar rosak.." hahahaha...tetak jak lah aku..i take it as a compliment...if its not a compliment..ada ku kisah??? kau ada?? sikdaaaa....hahahaha

Here..I showcase to you my one-of-a-kind design - The Opulent Statement Necklaces by Anna Sue. Fantastic statement pieces with a rich array of chunky & small beads, clear & colored stones and other elements which stuck together in a fabulous fun necklace. The collection is perfect as evening wear or for women who want sparkling style throughout the day..these pieces is made available at KHATERA House of Coutures and lovingly it is designed & handmade by me - Anna Sue..the designer wannabe & wannababe!

 

One of my dreams is to establish my designer's name - Anna Sue..*wink wink*

So people, I still have more projects to come..tungguuuuuuuuuuuuuu....

Does age really matters??

The very sexy 42 years old - Jennifer Lopez

T

"How old are you?".....if you are a stranger..dont try to ask me that question!

It is very rude to ask someone his/her age..but not for the people in Malaysia..we thought it is ok as it is just a question..helooo..it is not JUST A QUESTION...it is a sensitive question la....Some people are not so comfortable to tell their age.  As a women, age is our secret..shishhhhhhhhh...dont tell your age...hehehehe....'a woman who tell her age will tell everything'.Why it is so hard to tell then? Hmmm..maybe we are in denial..we dont feel the age but the number is there. Or are we simply afraid of the word 'aging'?

Aging, the accumulation of damage to molecules, cells and tissues over a lifetime, often leads to frailty and malfunction. Old age is the biggest risk factor for many diseases, including cancer and cardiovascular and neurodegenerative diseases (www.nature.com). 

Lewis Wolpert, the emeritus professor of biology at University College London explained, most people were 'averagely happy' in their teens and 20s - declining until early middle age as they try to support a family and a career.  From the middle of 40s, people tend to become more cheerful and optimistic perhaps reaching a maximum in their late 70s and 80s.  Research also indicates that while aging can cause the weakening of some ability such as mathematics, others such as language and decision making improve as the brain mature..hmm..no wonder some of our classmates in EMBA were struggling when it comes to subjects like Financial Management, Managerial Economic and Statistics..we didnt just struggled but we were half dead while the younger classmates smiled taking photo with their calculators!

I'm blogging about age because yesterday I had a reunion get together with my former EMBA9 classmates.  We took that opportunity to celebrate the 50th birthday of Mr. Jamil Jamaluddin..welcoming him to the 5 SERIES club @ kelab WARGA EMAS..and the teasing never end..he is the second classmate that has reached that age..the first one was Abang Ahmad..next in line will be Norden Bolhassan, but we have to wait for another 4 more years before we can 'ngepok' him to 'belanja' us..(well..this is just to make Norden feel young..still..).  The youngest classmate we have is only 26...wow..to celebrate her 50th birthday, we have to wait for another 24 years..at that time some of us probably laying in hospital bed (BP problems..heart problems..sugar problems..and problems..and problems..), or some still can attend the reunion..in wheelchairs or assisted with tongkat (Parkinson !) and better still...some of us may no longer exist!

when you celebrate your 50th birthday..you have to lit your own candles..people wont give you any mercy..hahaha

Let me repeat..the number is there but we dont feel it..that is exactly how i can described..even though we have reached certain age but we dont really feel that we are 30..40..or 50..the only sign of our age is the health, the mobility, the activities we involved in and the physical appearance.  Everything become much quieter and slower...but...according to scientists people become happier when they grow older - the best years do not arrive until our late 70s and 80s (The Telegraph).

As for myself, I plan to grow old gracefully and I want to keep on improving myself as I age.  There is no stopping as long as I want to do it. Embracing her philosophy, I agree with Coco Chanel, "A women has the age she deserved". so.. I WILL DETERMINE WHAT AGE I WANT TO BE!! .. wohsehhhhh...

So, do whatever it takes to keep ourselves in 'good & perfect condition'..never neglected your health, beauty regime & your physical appearance..when we reach certain age..the maintenance fee will tend to be higher and more expensive..but well, kereta lepas 5 tahun pun maintenace mahal maaaa....

I'm in my 30s and I'm thankful with what I have in my life..My life is so much better now compared to when I was in my 20s..I love myself more though I'm not that young anymore...couldnt be better..

Age is just an issue of mind over matter.  If you dont mind, it doesnt matter!!

Demi Moore (48 yrs old) with hunky husband Ashton Kutcher (33)..gulpppp

Cindy Crawford (45)

Anna Sue (30+++++++) hehhhhh...

A makeup junkie

"I am a makeup junkie"- that is another confession...you name it..from Yves St Laurent, Christian Dior, Lancome, Kose, MAC, The Body Shop, Mary Kay, SimplySiti.. i have them all in my makeup box..my first branded makeup was the YSL lipstick, an eyeshadow set and a set of Estee Laurder Skincare product given by my husband who was then my boyfriend. I asked him why did he bought me those..he replied 'because i want you to take good care of yourself'..little did he knows that he actually making a big mistake...as now he complaints why do i have to buy so much makeup...daaaaaa

What is in the box?

Taaadaaaaaaaaaa.....a treasure...hehehe...keep them well organized so that your man wont nag that your makeup is all over the places :)

Some women out there think that wearing makeup will take away their original appearance. Well, that is their personal opinion and preferences..I respect that. But for me, being well dressed is not enough. Expensive suit\dress and great shoes is not a complete package. It is just one side of looking great. The other side is our skin, hair and makeup. Equal attention must be devoted to all these aspects in order to achieve a great look.

I personally think that women look better when they wear makeup. I'm not encouraging them to appear like Lady Gaga or the Japanese Geisha. Wear minimum makeup to make them look pleasant and presentable is good enough. A quote from Clavin Klein "The best thing is to look natural, but it takes makeup to look natural". See, natural is still the best and you don't have to wear too much makeup like a supermodel. Owh..talking about supermodel, i was invited to judge the Ratu Kebaya competition last weekend. I was quite 'geram' to see that about half of the contestants came with pale stricken face...helllloooo..what are you doing here? I'm not trying to be harsh but this is a beauty pageant sweetheart..i want to see beautiful face with proper makeup..not the one that i can easily find at Pasar Ikan..

Well, wearing makeup is not a necessity but rather a social norms. As a girl we grow up knowing that our mother, sisters and favorite stars wear makeup. When makeup is heavily marketed, it becomes a worldwide custom that are socially acceptable. We cant blame the marketer for exaggerating on the use of makeup as makeup were used since the ancient time. King Tut's tomb was opened in 1922 and cosmetic were found inside - fragrances that were still perfectly useable.

Why is this makeup is so needed by some women? 

Answers:

~ it enhances their beauty

~ be more physically alluring

~ it gives them confidence

~ to cover imperfection...brighten up the face, camouflage blemishes, visible pores, uneven skin color, pimples and scars

~ opt for youthful appearance

~ and it is simply fun to look different..just like painting on a canvas

Just to share ~ since I'm 'gifted' with oily skin, sometimes my makeup won't stay and sometimes it looks flaky and caked on.  So, after so many products..I found these brands (for eye colors only) suit my skin best.  Lancome, Dior, Body Shop & SimplySiti..they are the best eye makeup for me so far...

Wokey, if you are not a makeup person..just some tips from me..wear moisturizer to moisturize your skin (unless if you love to see cracks and wrinkles on your face)..wear a BB cream before you step your foot out of your door..it is a MUST to protect your skin from damaging sunlight. You don't want to have black patches on your face, or do you? Pat a face powder as it can give you a matte finish...a mascara  - it makes your eye lashes longer, fuller and it opens up your eyes..and a dash of lip gloss..that's it..! 

"My husband really loves the red lipstick, so I keep the red because I want to keep the husband" - Gwen Stefani

Some men wear makeup too these days..so, how is that? A yay or a nay???

A kick start

Holiday is over...should be over....must be over..owh what am i saying..as much as possible, i still wanna celebrate my Raya..but i have put my study on a pause mode for quite a while. Blame it to Raya mood..hehehe. Its time to give it a kick start. I'm not sure whether I'm ahead or behind time..my study is still in the initial stage, even the Research Method class is not started yet..and..sighhh..i haven't 'surrender' myself to my supervisor..

I imagine that my supervisor is asking me this question, "So..what is your progress now Suzana?" wokey, here is my answer "now I'm still in literature collecting stage..I search for journals, articles & dissertations..copy..and save.  At this moment, I ONLY have about 100 journals in my collection (owh forgive me dear Professor..sob sob.. ), then I will print them all..and start reading..I have created a matrix that will helps me organize my reading & finding".  But then, the imagination keep going..going wild..."Suzana, 100 is not enough..You need to multiply your search by 2 or 3 times" hahhhhhh.....sounds interesting isn't it?

I am actually half excited, half afraid of entering the highest level of education. I am not expecting it to be easy..otherwise everybody could have worn that round, funny looking mortarboard...ya..funny but its worth a life..

I want to be one of them..looking so intelligent with round mortarboard on their head

I know that i will need to stretch out my intellectual capacity..besides, i will have to be self-reliant, self motivated and self directed..though my other half is a Phd holder, i dont feel like he is with me in this journey but I believed he will support me in some other ways.  I was also expecting my buddy to join me, we kinda made a promise "best buddy swim together..and..sink together...together gether" but it doesn't seem like he is ready...so..i have to slash that together gether from our vocabulary.  Well, i can't force anyone to put themselves in my shoes..(because i wear stiletto and they don't..hehehe...that is just my metaphor).

I'm , myself was once doubted my commitment and ability to undertake this ride. But I'm in it now..and I'm ready to throw myself in a pool of fire! 

I pray to Allah to give me the strength emotionally, mentally & physically ... 

VPL and G-string dillema

hahahahaah....allow me to laugh before i start writing :))

Alright, undergarment or underwear are clothes worn under the other clothes, often next to skin.  The function is to keep outer garments from being soiled by bodily discharges, shape the body, provide support & to 'hide' those things that needed to be hid.  Some undergarments are intended for erotic effect...wuuuuuuu..

In fashion, VPL or Visible Panty Lines is considered as of the fashion Faux Pas (a slip or blunder in etiquette, manners or conduct - an unfortunate error in fashion etiquette).  VPL happens when the outline of a person's underwear is visible through the clothing.  Regarded as a fashion disaster or wardrobe malfunction (not to mention, it is every fashion designer's biggest nightmare..). VPL is caused by : tight fitting clothing, thin outer clothing, thick panties, panties size too small & underwear is darker than the outer.  

Well, there are so many women out there who failed to check their back in the mirror before they leave the house.  I have seen women with VPL many many times..there was one time I saw this lady wearing tight white pants..and her stripe black and white panty is obviously visible.  I turned to my husband and asked "why must she wears that"...here come his reply "because she just got out of jail !! "

VPL - Would you like your bum to look like this?

or this?

If your VPL is that absurd..i would advise you to - WEAR NOTHING!!

Now, one of the fashion tips to avoid VPL is to use thong or g-string.  Thong and G-string are two different underwear.  Thong has a wide strip of fabric that nestle between bum cheeks, while G-string has just that fine string at the back.  I dont understand why some women who wear G-string like to show it off.  Isn't it supposed to hide the VPL? G-string on show is voted as one of the Top 10 fashion disaster list in UK's OK magazine.  Lets see the pictures...

dont try to hard and bare it all

sexy or kinky?

i

menutup aurat?? i dont even want to comment on this..

As for my opinion, G-sting on show is not sexy at all..it makes you look cheap, quirky and nonsensical...please ladies, leave your stripper look in your bedroom!!

Enough about VPL and G-string, what about Builder's Bum or Plumber's Crack? Have you heard the terms? No?? well...lets have a look of how builder's bum (as the Amercan called it) or Plumber's crack (term used in UK) looks like....

Builder's Bum/Plumber's Crack

what is this?? a building under construction?

Have you seen those bum & crack? Check yourself ladies..dont make yourself a subject of laughter behind your back...hahahaha

Proud to have SOD - Shoe Obsession Disorder

Shoes Obsession Disorder is described as 'Women kind's enduring love affair with fabulous footwares', Urban Dictionary.  It is commonly self-diagnosed and there is no cure!!  

Some of the quotes gathered from famous OSD patients:

"I will literally be the old women who lived in her shoes" - Carrie Bradshaw, Sex in The City

"If you are scared of wearing high heels because they hurt your feet..you are old" - Celine Dion

"I did not have 3000 pairs of shoes.  I had only 1060" - Imelda Marcos

Christina Aguilera's shoe closet

Rachel Zoe's

How I wish I have that many pairs of shoe in my closet..I dont quite remember how many I have, but nothing less than 30 pairs..I have no explanation but I just love them.  My husband and my kids are well aware of this obsession of mine.  The kids use my obsession to 'attack' me if they are not satisfied with my decision.  My husband gave me numerous of 'not so friendly' comments, like "I dont understand why she needs so many pair of shoes..she only have 2 kaki"..."Walking on a plank of wood - an instruments of self torture"...bla bla bla..For me, high heels add a quality to our life.  When we have them on, they will make us taller and instantly our confident level shoot up..and..we dont have to lose weight to fit in to the shoes we die for..isnt that right?

One of my favorite - by Vinci Plus

For my Hari Raya - by eclipe

Though I love high heels but wedges can drive me insane.  When I was little, probably about 5-6 years old, I remember my mom used to own a pair of red platform shoes which I love to wear when I 'berdango'.  So, I went with her red platforms ketak ketok ketak ketok around our wooden kampung house.  I guess that is where I got the hang of it.  Wedges or platform means that the shoes are not raised just from the heel, but they are raised all over.  So, when we wear these shoes, our feet will not be inclined much.  Therefore, wedges are much more comfortable as compared to stilettos. 

Benefits of wedges:

• It is a true friends to the feet - the entire foot remains supported by wedges.  I have 4 inches wedges and didnt get cramps even when I wear it all day long
• It gives us an instant height - I'm 5 feets 4 inches tall and if I wear 4 inches wedges, my height will be 5 feets, 8 inches..whooohoooo...and I'm definitely taller than my husband and I feel in control..yeahhh 
• It can be worn with any of your clothes - jeans, skirt, gowns, pants, baju kurung..even jubah or abaya
• Its stylish, worldly and eye-popping..it has a very cosmopolitan look

Wedges often spotted on the beautiful feet of Victoria Beckham.  From stylish and elegant to sneaker wedges.  Well, talking about Victoria, she always surprises with extraordinary & extravagant footware.  Some fashion wisdom from Victoria, "some wedges are great but you can look like your feet are encased in cement", "If you havent got it, fake it!  Too short? Wear big high heels but do practice walking".

Here are a few of my favorite wedges......

One of my most expensive shoes, 4 inches wedges - by Aldo

When I saw this, my jaw dropped & mouth said "holly molly"...a pair I bought in Kowloon Shopping Street, Hong Kong

Well..I do wear flats & sandals too..they are confortable & light..

Comfy..very very comfy flats - by Zang Toi

Dont know why I bought them - by Nose

I have few pairs  of shoe that havent been worn yet..there is one pair that I bought in London..bright yellow wedges..still in perfect condition, been keeping it for 12 years now and I never wore it..not even once..hmm...my friend, Sandy Jap commented on FB, "Dont get upset because you cant have a new shoes.  There are people out there that have no feet".

My first time blogging

I never created a blog before and I seldom read people's blog either. Why do i created mine? First, I was thinking of keeping a journal about my journey in pursuing my Phd.  While I was thinking and dreaming, a friend of mine, Ida Athanazir suggested that I created a blog about my passion in fashion.  Before I even say a word, Ida said "from your heart..I know u gonna tell me u don't know how to write"...she knows how to read my mind..I cant write as good as her.  Her writing in  http://borneolove.blogspot.com is really eye catching.  How am I going to compare my writing with hers..sighhhhs

Well, after much of her encouragements, I tried and warlllaaaaa...here comes my blog..(I'm still struggling with my trial & error process tho).  I hope that I will master this blogging skill soon because I have so many things to share.  Like what Ida said, I have a good fashion sense and she believed a lot of people will follow.  Ya, I have to admit that I love fashion..I love accessorizing,  I love makeups, I love pretty dresses, I love colorful handbags and the greatest of all..I love SHOES...shoes shoes shoes..

People always stereotyping the blonde haired women with the term "Dumb Blonde".. I'm a blonde..hahaha...not original one lah..its a salon created blonde.  My hair is always always always colored with few different colors..if I dont have the blonde highlight, I will be crying like moody cow.  There's no reason for people to labelled me as a dumb blonde because I have proof that I'm smart & brilliant even though I dont look like one..hmm..well, with my colored hair, dressed like a supermodel (hissss...me so as if lah..) and walking around with my inches of high heels..who would have thought that I have two different diplomas, a 1st class bachelor degree (CGPA: 3.75), a master with an Excellent  Award (CGPA: 3.95) awarded by Yang Dipertuan Agung and now pursuing my Phd? 

So, this new blog of mine will compile my experiences from the very beginning till the completion of my Phd, with the hope that one day I can document it in a form of a book which can be a reference to other women out there.  I want to inspire women to achieve their dreams.  No matter who we are and how we look like, if we believe we can do it..yeah..we surely can.