A kick start

Holiday is over...should be over....must be over..owh what am i saying..as much as possible, i still wanna celebrate my Raya..but i have put my study on a pause mode for quite a while. Blame it to Raya mood..hehehe. Its time to give it a kick start. I'm not sure whether I'm ahead or behind time..my study is still in the initial stage, even the Research Method class is not started yet..and..sighhh..i haven't 'surrender' myself to my supervisor..

I imagine that my supervisor is asking me this question, "So..what is your progress now Suzana?" wokey, here is my answer "now I'm still in literature collecting stage..I search for journals, articles & dissertations..copy..and save.  At this moment, I ONLY have about 100 journals in my collection (owh forgive me dear Professor..sob sob.. ), then I will print them all..and start reading..I have created a matrix that will helps me organize my reading & finding".  But then, the imagination keep going..going wild..."Suzana, 100 is not enough..You need to multiply your search by 2 or 3 times" hahhhhhh.....sounds interesting isn't it?

I am actually half excited, half afraid of entering the highest level of education. I am not expecting it to be easy..otherwise everybody could have worn that round, funny looking mortarboard...ya..funny but its worth a life..

I want to be one of them..looking so intelligent with round mortarboard on their head

I know that i will need to stretch out my intellectual capacity..besides, i will have to be self-reliant, self motivated and self directed..though my other half is a Phd holder, i dont feel like he is with me in this journey but I believed he will support me in some other ways.  I was also expecting my buddy to join me, we kinda made a promise "best buddy swim together..and..sink together...together gether" but it doesn't seem like he is ready...so..i have to slash that together gether from our vocabulary.  Well, i can't force anyone to put themselves in my shoes..(because i wear stiletto and they don't..hehehe...that is just my metaphor).

I'm , myself was once doubted my commitment and ability to undertake this ride. But I'm in it now..and I'm ready to throw myself in a pool of fire! 

I pray to Allah to give me the strength emotionally, mentally & physically ...